My husband and I are in a dilemma, honestly a way out is not visible or should I say we are yet to get one. This is because the issue at hand is too evident to be ignored and my husband and I are so confused.
I am fortunate to be raised by both parents and we had a happy family and a good background. My parents were into business and we were really comfortable. Their marriage to us their children was a good and perfect one and my younger sister and I used to pray and wish we would eventually marry a man like my father. He was our stereotype of a good husband and the way he treated mum, none of us would ever believe that dad had extra marital affairs.
Tunde, my husband was not that lucky, he lost his father at a very tender age, he told me he died in a motor accident when he was two years old while his elder brother was five. His mother raised the two of them alone. She refused to remarry despite pleas and advice from family and friends. His mother eventually had a relationship with a man friend of hers when both of them were away in school.
Adekunle, his elder brother travelled abroad for his Masters, and he was in the university too. He told me he never met the man, but that his mother always told them about him and sometimes when he helped out with their school fees and extras in the house.
According to my husband, the said man, (his mother’s secret friend) was instrumental to his going abroad for his Master’s degree too and that was where we met. When we both finished our studies, we stayed back and started working. It was easy for me because all my siblings did the same and Tunde’s brother too was there to help out as all of us were together in Britain.
According to him, during our stay in the United Kingdom, his mother informed both of them that she was pregnant for her male friend, but he said then that he wasn’t prepared for that type of commitment in their relationship. She never considered abortion as an option, so she kept the baby. As at that time, she had gone into business herself and she was doing well.
With the support of her children, she was able to give their kid sister a very good and sound education. The pregnancy and the birth of the baby girl actually put an end to his mother’s relationship with her friend, but because she is mature and comfortable, she was able to move on without a problem and according to her, the little baby was just what she needed at that time since her children were grown and away from home.
We got married in Britain and both parents attended our marriage and played their roles as our parents. There was nothing like animosity between my father and my mother –in-law and nobody would believe they had ever met themselves before our wedding and traditional introduction.
My husband and I came into the country few years back, because we felt it was high time we did. You won’t believe that my father loved my husband so much that he encouraged him go into his business and he actually helped him to grow it. Both our parents have had cause to meet each other several times during family celebrations, but we had no cause to suspect they were keeping anything from us.
To the glory of God, the little girl has finished her studies, done her NYSC and even travelled to the US for her Master’s degree. She is back home and wants to get married. You won’t believe the shock my husband received when his mother told him who his little sister’s father is.
I also found it difficult to believe when he told me that my father is his sister’s father. This is shocking, strange and annoying. According to my mother-in-law, she wouldn’t have raised this because she already knew what peoples reaction would be, but his sister insisted on knowing who her father is or was. Even if he was no longer living, she deserved to know.
She told him and felt there was no need keeping it a secret any longer from us since she had already told his sister. The problem now is, I don’t even know what she expected from me. I also don’t know what to do? Should I ask my father? How would my mother take it? Then, what would happen if my sister-in-law insists that her father should be visible in her wedding ceremony?
I am sure you would ask if we didn’t guess by her surname. She had always bore my mother-in-law’s maiden name. I don’t even know what my husband’s thinking is or how he feels about my father now. The worst thing is that he is not talking. Please, Taiwo, how does one handle a situation like this? I am happily married with two children. My husband and I love each other; I don’t want this situation or anything to destroy my home, kindly help out with your counsel.